They were told they must not gobble down too much coal because this was contributing adversely to the Government’s obligations under the Kyoto climate change agreement. The Clinically Obese Controller summoned the engines and gave them new guidelines.
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It was a cloud of smog, caused by all those fossil fuels which the engines burn. Nor even a metaphorical cloud, caused by the anger about Mattel’s editorial changes to the Thomas stories. Two of Thomas’s oldest chums, Edward and Henry, are being sent off to the breaker’s yard to make way for Nia, an orange locomotive from Africa (above), and Rebecca, a bright yellow engineĪ cloud hung over Sodor.
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Thomas did not smile for the rest of the day and went to his sheds without so much as a toot or a chuff-chuff-chuff. He issued Thomas with a formal warning about his conduct and explained that this would be placed on his disciplinary file. Instead, he would be issued with an Arriva Trains executive-tier uniform of polyester trousers, Terylene shirt and company-logo tie. He added that in future he would not wear the spongebag trousers, tails and top hat that evoked memories of the great railway engineer Isambard Kingdom Brunel. But it is hurtful to refer to anyone’s body image, Thomas.’ I may have a gland problem which makes me clinically obese. ‘Those,’ sighed the Fat Controller, ‘are not words we use in the 21st century. ‘But you are - you’re a complete porker,’ said Thomas truthfully. Have I upset him? The manager adopted a pitying frown and explained, in a nannying Blue Peter-presenter voice, that it was no longer ‘appropriate’ to call him fat. The Station Precinct Executive Manager, as he was more properly titled now, scowled and said: ‘I’d like a word with you in the sidings, Thomas.’ One morning, Thomas chuffed into the station and blew his whistle to say ‘Hullo, Mr Fat Controller’.
#Jim ll paint it thomas the tank engine series#
If that is not enough to make you blow your boilers, I offer the following suggestions for new stories in the (once) much-loved Thomas series … The theme tune is to be altered and the Fat Controller’s celebrated girth may be transformed. Thomas will travel abroad, to assist in his mission to make children more welcoming to foreigners and immigrants. Awdry, a Hampshire vicar, settled for adventure and derring-do, now they will have political messages. Where once the stories, originally written in the Forties by the Rev W. On the island of Sodor, where the Thomas stories are based, it is going to be ‘all change’ - but not in a good way. Nesbit (The Railway Children) and Kenneth Grahame (The Wind In The Willows creator).Īccording to the Left-leaning Pullman, such writers peddled ‘teeth-grittingly cute’ images of childhood which appealed only to adults. These new episodes have been created in collaboration with the United Nations, so the storylines feature five so-called ‘Sustainable Development Goals’: quality education, gender equality, sustainable cities and communities, responsible consumption and production, and life on land.Īll this was reported on the day author Philip Pullman criticised stories by A.A. The Fat Controller is to be modernised, an emphasis will be put on environmental awareness, and the Liverpudlian tones of the narrator are to be changed, presumably for an American voice. They are being introduced to create gender and race balance in the engine sheds at Tidmouth Sheds, following changes in recent years, such as the arrival of a Japanese engine, Hiro.
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Two of Thomas’s oldest chums, Edward and Henry, are being sent off to the breaker’s yard to make way for Nia, an orange locomotive from Africa, and Rebecca, a bright yellow engine. Mattel, the American toy company that owns the rights to the Thomas The Tank Engine franchise, has announced sweeping changes to the series about gallant little steam engine Thomas and his friends. Goodbye Thomas The Tank Engine - and hello to Thomas the Politically Correct Outreach Officer for the United Nations.